after long time

I have not write here for a long time, I know. It is not because nothing was going on in my life or around here, but I think it was going on to much. Funny I know, But sometimes or most of the time when there is so much going on in my life I have problem to put it on paper or in to some words, that would describe what is realy going on. Another reason why I have not been writeing here is that I have this think goign on in my head that I can not realy good speak english and writeing is even worse. But I think God has been working in my life this past months like crazy and you know what I dont care at all about it anymore. I figured that if this is a problem for someone, that they dont have to read it at all, and I know that most of the time it is no problem at all for people I know :). So I have left staff with CCC in June, but I am back since 1st of October. I feel like it has been most crazy, but also most fruitfull 4 months in my life. Yes I am saying that because I like to use words like most, best, atc.. So I dont know how would you call it, but I like to tak about things how I live them and experience the at the moment. And this is one of the things God has been teaching me, to be real with my self and not be ashamed for who I realy am and what is realy God doing in my life. He tought me that I need to be real with my sisters and brothers, because we are family in Him and we should love each other the best we can. Love is something that I am trying to understand the most these days. God showed me that love is not just, what we call love ( being in love, love someone, I love you, I love icecream.) Yes I use this word a lot, but I never tought about the real meaning of it. Like why God says that He is Love, why is the whole chapter in 1. Crinthians 13 about Love, why Jesus said that first thing we should do is to Love our God, and then Love our neighbor as ourselfs.? I understood that it is breaking the law of love when we sin. When we sin we are being unloving to God, or to some other person. I have learned that this life is not about me, and about things I want. It is all about the Lord and His will. He can give and take and realy do anything He thigs is the best for our growth. And I know that it is important to recieve just what he is giving me, because He knows what He is doing, I have no idea what I am doing, but peace comes from Him. I read today that God alowes us to sin, because He wants us to be like Him, and that is so awesome to know this. That everytime when our sin comes along we have a choice to sin again or to be like Christ. Christ was tried wby sin, but He never sined. So He went through stuff we are going through, but He choose not to sin. And thats what I am learning these days, and I know I will be learning till I go to heaven. So I promise I will write more on here, and I hope you will start checking this blog more often. seeeee uuuu.